Essence of becoming

There blooms a tiny flower in my heart. A rare kind that is only in full growth when my joy is complete and unrestricted. I water it daily and carry it with utmost delicacy within. On some days, it fades into dullness still. When I try to withhold it, I only see it growing invisible. But much like invisible ink, gaining contact with a special kind of light, it comes into being once more. Always flickering, disappearing yet emerging again, over and over like an endless stream of river. Being a lot like its flow, it soars and tumbles at its own pace too. At its own will. There blooms a tiny flower in my heart. A flower of big dreams and conviction, of willingness and sincerity. It keeps growing with the hope that one day, I’ll not call it tiny anymore. And with time, I am slowly beginning to outlook its appearance and realising the mismatch of my words with its experience and true being. There blooms a flower in my heart. A flower is all that it is. But becoming more. Helping me become.

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5 favourite quotes of the week

1. As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain and more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love. -Jenny Slate

2. Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith. -Elisabeth Elliot

3. Maybe true happiness is when we’re happy with ourselves. -Unknown

4. What kept me sane was knowing that things would change, and it was a question of keeping myself together until they did. -Nina Simone

5. Though perhaps my best moments I never jot down; when they come I cannot afford to break the charm by inditing memoranda. I just abandon myself to the mood, and let it float on, carrying me in its placid extasy. -Walt Whitman

Positive self-affirmations ✨

–I am enough. A thousand times enough.

–I am open to learning and expanding my potential.

–I am attracting positivity, warmth and goodness.

–I am moving towards growth and fulfillment.

–I will let go of my fears, doubts and inhibitions. Slowly but eventually.

Ability.

I love flowers

for their ability to remind,

to remind me to reorder in a way that is open to the withering;

to understand that it is a sort of transition.

To accept the dullness;

to know it only needs a little cleansing

so as to appear in its purest form.

To seek the sun as the water is poured;

to learn that both are just as necessary.

To be a warm yet vibrant presence in someone’s life;

just as much as they’re in mine.

To grow despite it all;

to simply grow.

To be more than what I’ve been so far;

to be more, to be more.

People you term as fake but you shouldn’t

–Someone behaving nicely with a person they hate – they are only trying to win over their hatred through a way they may find effective and it is not necessary for people to express all negative feeling outwardly, nor should it be done.

–Someone portraying themselves as strong to others when they are feeling weak (and you know it) – they do not want to appear vulnerable or call for help, which is an individual choice.

–Someone who embraces their softness and shows their emotions as they are (including people you perceive as too sensitive) – they are simply courageous, even if they appear too moody/honest/restless to you.

–Someone who has a tendency to exaggerate their happiness or sadness (including people you think cry too much or too easily) – they are expressive in their own terms and not all of us follow the same pattern of expression. Sometimes, our emotions overwhelm us.

–Someone you see as being nice and polite to everyone – they are trying to embrace/bring out their goodness even if it does not exist for everyone in the first place.

–Someone who appears to be seeking attention – they want to be accepted/seen/heard for who they are.

–Someone you dislike and associate with negative traits they do not possess – you’re projecting your own hatred onto them.

–Someone you’ve not spoken to but they hold a bad social image – you only know them in bits and pieces from what you’ve heard from others or seen as an outsider.

–Someone who’s ready to help anyone and everyone with an open heart – they are selfless. People like that exist, even if it goes far beyond your beliefs.

–Someone who shows off, is flaunty or over ambitious – there’s another word for them: pretentious.

–Someone who deceives or cheats – it is entirely contextual, but in most cases, there are reasons beyond common comprehension.

Feel free to add in the comments. ✨

Connecting to Myself

Something I learnt last month:

If you truly connect to how you feel within, that is, connect deeper to your own needs, hopes and desires, you better understand how others are feeling and on what pace they connect to themselves.

As the outside is a mere reflection of what’s inside, the more elaborately you visualize and perceive your own emotions and thoughts, the more you resonate with the world around you (and it reciprocates!); including the people, the trees, the sky, pretty much everything.

Crux: bringing forth empathy and compassion for oneself enlargens the possibility of showing these qualities for others too, in a much much more wonderful way.

This picture is a depiction of how I feel today:

Photo by Emery Allen

Warmth is slowly engulfing me

Dark days.
I can’t swim,
I can’t rise.
I am defeated
by the weight
of my own
shoulders.
I can’t carry myself
toward the light
I willingly see at the end of the tunnel.
Why do I feel trapped
when I know deep down
there’s a world inside
perhaps tens or thousands
that I fail to
acknowledge?
There’s a light inside
but not bright enough
for all the dark places to be lit.
And there’s warmth, too
but not warm enough
to push aside the cold for too long.
They say
make warmth your friend
and it’ll solemnly protect you.
But, what if
it’s the opposite?
What if
the cold is who I must befriend?
What if
the warmth is only here
to engulf me?
What if…

Soft hearts

When I googled the term ‘soft’, it had two meanings as an adjective:

1) easy to mould, cut, compress, or fold; not hard or firm to the touch.

2) having a pleasing quality involving a subtle effect rather than sharp definition.

For humans who appear ‘soft’, I’d like to go by the second definition and not the first. We simply have a subtle effect that is pleasing in nature. There is no sharpness.

I get to hear this often: “You are too soft for this harsh world. You don’t have to be. You’ll end up getting disappointed or hurt.” But I think it is so important to learn the difference between being soft and being vulnerable. Being soft means you are simply open to various emotions and feelings, which is not necessarily bad.

For me, ‘soft’ is the most beautiful thing to be. It allows one to be kind and reverberate with compassion for others. Without it, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. If people try to make you believe that being hard, cold or authoritative is what makes you strong and that you are a fool to feel deeply, just tell them politely, “Softness is not my weakness, I genuinely believe it is my greatest strength”, and walk away.

In a world full of rough edges and sharp corners, there is a dire need for humans who continue to be kind and gentle. Your strength is not in your bravado, but in your quiet. And that is okay.

Muskan Lamba (23.05.2017)

A rather late post..

2017. Seven learnings.

1. Confidence is an inner thing. It’s funny that I say this because I’ve always searched for it outside, confusing it with validation, intelligence, and how likeable I am (or could be), but the only thing confidence is, in reality, is a decision. Or rather a solid outcome of when you decide to be true to yourself. Just that. The rest falls into place automatically.

2. The people you surround yourself with control a whole lot of things about you. Some of them really do uplift you, but at the same time, the others stop you from growing (even if they are great individuals otherwise). You don’t come across the right people often, but who you do stumble upon are people disguised as being right. I can’t say much on how to distinguish but it’s always easier to know when you learn how to, first of all, be right for yourself and to others.

3. It’s ok to not know or be who you’d like to be. It’s also ok to be inferior to someone in terms of knowledge, ability, empathy or personal growth. But it’s not wise to limit yourself because of that one person you think is so much better off. Some people truly are more fortunate, quicker at growing, gain success more easily and are so good at being themselves that it makes you cringe a little at how you’re far behind. Look up to them, but don’t look down upon yourself by lowering yourself further.

4. When people say the mind controls everything, not the heart, they’re right. I’m still somewhere in the middle of accepting this but it stands true. We are naturally inclined to do as the heart says, but applying a little brain gives more satisfaction in the long run.

5. Not being selfless at all times does not equate to being selfish. You can’t make everyone happy, but with the same effort, you can keep the ones who matter twice as happy.

6. Things are as quick at getting better as they were at going wrong in the first place. Be forward-looking.

7. Goals are important. Not all of them have to be loud or life-transforming. They may change over time, but you have to know where you’re headed. Things begin to fix as soon as you come out of your little bubble and see where it’s actually taking you.

5 favourite quotes of the week

1. I wanted to make it and I was going to make it regardless of what anybody said. -Unknown

2. Anything you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act upon must come to reality. -Paul Meyer

3. It does not matter whether you’re rose, or a lotus, or a marigold. What matters is that you’re flowering. -Osho

4. Defeat should never be a source of discouragement, rather a fresh stimulus. -Robert South

5. Patience will achieve more than force. -Edmund Burke